Friday, May 23, 2014

K+



Last week I received one of the scariest phone calls EVAH!

I was at the pharmacy looking to buy a pair of pantyhose to wear to an interview later that day.

No, this is not what you think. I will not go into another story about me and socks and an interview LOL.

I was cracking jokes, to a friend, about how I need to buy nude colored tights with white women on the packages because my legs don't tan. I'm literally half white, half black. *shrugs*

My phone quacked. I answered. On the other line was the doctor. "Ms. Martínez you need to go to the emergency room immediately. Your lab results came back and the potassium levels in your blood are alarmingly high. You must go right away."

Gulp.

I said, "What does high potassium even mean?" I zoned out. All I heard her say was "...kidneys...irregular heart beat...death..."

"Well doc, I won't be able to go until tonight. I have an interview today and I can't cancel it."

In a stern, mother-like voice she told me I should reschedule my interview, that they would understand.

I started sobbing like a baby. I seriously don't remember the last time I cried like that.

It wasn't an easy decision to make, but against the advice of my family and friends (and Dr.) I decided to go to the interview first. I figured if I was going to die that day I'd die regardless of where I was. You know how many people die in hospitals? A lot.

Lately I have made a conscious effort to focus my energy on things that I have direct control over. I still care about things that I can't control, but I try not to obsess over them...too much. I'm living inside a zen bubble and I refuse to climb out.

That day I stubbornly told my friend, "If I die on my way to the interview at least I died in pursuit of my dreams." Super dramatic, I know.

But this post isn't about following your dreams. It is about how I, you, we take things for granted.

Luckily, for me, the phlebotomist made an error when drawing my blood. There isn't anything wrong with me.

When the ER nurse told me I was free to go home I was happy. That happiness lasted about 3 seconds. I then got annoyed that I had to pay so much money for a co-pay and how I wasted hours of my life away at the ER and that my Friday plans had been ruined.

Here I was, in perfect health, worrying about insignificant bullshit. Not so zen after all.

So ungrateful.

Take a moment to appreciate the wonderful things in your life. Just the fact that you're able to read is one of them.

I once had a co-worker tell me that the fact that I always find the silver lining to situations is annoying. But honestly, I don't know any other way to live.

Things could always be better, but they could also be worse.

Optimistic, hungry and hopeful,

EvelisionVision